Are You Trapped in a Haunted Hype House or a Toxic Hedge Fund?

The following post is a collaboration with the novelist and satirist Leigh Stein.

Pop Quiz: Are You Trapped in a Haunted Hype House or a Toxic Hedge Fund?

1. A domineering boss forces you to debase yourself for shareholders.
2. The building where you work may be trying to kill you.
3. Nobody’s who they seem and everybody you meet has an ulterior motive.
4. All the major milestones in your life have been commodified.
5. You got a Ph.D. in astrophysics for this.
6. You live at work.
7. Everyone around you melts down when they don’t hit their performance targets.
8. Crying on the job has ended your career.
9. You’re forced to compete with your coworkers for access to resources.
10. Convincing your fans that they’re in a close personal relationship with you drives revenue for your company.
11. Nameless, faceless, soulless algorithms heavily influence your profit margins.
12. Convincing your friends to share confidential information with you drives revenue for your company.
13. You dropped out of college for this.
14. No one outside your industry understands what you do for a living.
15. The more sociopathic your behavior, the bigger your returns.
16. If your boss finds out what you’re planning, you’re fucked.

Answer Key

Haunted Hype House: 4, 10, 13

Toxic Hedge Fund: 5, 8, 12

Both: 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 11, 14, 15, 16.