Common Denominator

I dumped Facebook after college.

Me and LinkedIn have been enemies with benefits since that wild office party.

I had a toxic tryst with Twitter.

I love to hate Substack.

YouTube never returned my calls.

I had a superficial fling with Instagram.

I had a humiliating hookup with Threads.

I'm far too macho for Pinterest.

I'm way too washed for Snapchat.

My brain's too healthy for Tumblr.

I had enough discipline to reject TikTok's advances.

But I'm embarrassed to admit I'm boning Bluesky.

The common denominator in all my failed relationships is algorithms.